A friend recently told me about the book The Upside of Stress  and a TED talk by the author, Kelly McGonigal, PhD. Stress is usually described as bad for our health, and over the years, I have seen patients who spent quite a lot of time managing themselves and their families to try to eliminate it. But stress is part of life, and Dr. McGonigal’s message – that stress can sometimes be helpful, depending on how we deal with it – might be a relief for some of you.

 

Having said that, we are living through an intensely stressful time, and in addition, I know that some of you have sources of grief or stress for which there is no solution. Another friend mentioned a different book that may be of help. The book is called It’s OK That You’re Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn’t Understand, by Megan Devine. It discusses how grief is a normal reaction to loss. Grief is not a problem to be solved or an illness to be treated, but an experience to be lived through and with. While the book mainly talks about those who have lost loved ones, grief is a normal reaction to change in health, so this book might be helpful for those of you in that situation.

 

The chapter on anxiety looks extremely practical and helpful. The appendix, How to Help a Grieving Friend, reportedly is very frequently downloaded from the author’s website. I know for myself that dealing with people’s well-meaning but unhelpful efforts at consolation can be a huge source of unhappiness.

 

Both of these books gave me much food for thought. I encourage you to take what is useful to you here, and leave the rest.